David French—a delusional sycophant clinging desperately to the progressive wing of the evangelical world—has once again shown his true colors. French, who has made a career out of pandering to the left while masquerading as a conservative, has now found a new low. This is the same man who celebrates the “blessing of liberty” when children are handed over to drag queens but recoils in terror at Christians proclaiming “Christ is King” on Twitter.

And now, his latest bright idea? Solving abortion with a dash of communism and a sprinkle of wealth redistribution.

Let’s break down the sheer idiocy of French’s latest brainwave. He suggests that we can curb abortion by giving every parent a $2,000 government check when their baby is born.

What does that make David French?

A Communist.

French believes the path to a “concretely pro-life measure” is to open the government’s coffers and hand out taxpayer dollars to irresponsible parents. Because apparently, nothing says “conservatism” like stealing from those with a good work ethic and giving it to the sluggard.

Clearly, conservatism exists solely to increase government dependency.

This is the kind of elitist gobbledygook that only someone as deluded as French—perhaps only rivaled by the likes of Russell Moore or Mike Cosper—could cook up. These insufferable clowns are completely oblivious to the principles of personal responsibility and free-market capitalism that actual conservativism teaches.

But those are “radical” “far-right” “dangerous” “white supremacists” ideas in their worlds.

French wants you to believe that this is about helping struggling families. But this is a classic example of self-serving virtue-signaling to try to make this foolishness sound good. These people want to enslave us to big government all under the guise of “pro-life” concern.

French’s logic is as twisted as it is laughable. He suggests that financial hardship, as opposed to sinful irresponsibility, is a primary driver of abortion, so naturally, the solution is for the government to throw money at the problem. But what’s next, David? Will you be proposing a universal basic income to prevent theft, or perhaps free college for everyone to avoid student debt suicides?

When does it stop?

Or better yet—does it ever stop in French’s world of endless government handouts?

What French fails to understand—or more accurately, chooses to ignore—is that abortion isn’t a financial issue, it’s a moral one. But who needs moral clarity when you can just cut a check, right? French’s proposal obliterates the very foundation of what the pro-life movement stands for. He’s not addressing the root cause, because he doesn’t care about the root cause. He isn’t conservative, he isn’t Christian, and he isn’t pro-life—he’s simply trying to pay off people’s consciences. Because why bother with the hard work of fostering a culture that values life when you can just bribe people into not killing their unborn children?

Let’s not overlook the irony here—French, the self-proclaimed conservative, advocating for wealth redistribution. He’s like a doctor prescribing arsenic for a headache, utterly blind to the fact that he’s poisoning the patient while claiming to heal them.

Does French really believe that conservatives will buy into this tripe? Or is he simply pandering to his progressive pals, eager to prove that he’s still one of the “reasonable” voices in the room? Spoiler alert: no true conservative would ever take this proposal seriously.

And here’s the kicker—French even tries to hedge his bet by saying he supports the idea “especially if paid for with cuts elsewhere.” Oh, David, how generous of you! You’ve really thought this one through, haven’t you? Except, of course, you haven’t. Because if you had, you’d realize that any cuts made to fund this ridiculous scheme would still amount to nothing more than rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. The ship is sinking, and French is suggesting we swap the chairs for slightly nicer ones.

David French is the kind of “conservative” who would sell out every principle he claims to uphold if it meant getting a pat on the back from MSNBC. His proposal is nothing more than a thinly-veiled attempt to placate the left while handing real conservatives over to the slaughterhouse.

And let’s be clear—there’s nothing pro-life, and nothing conservative, about expanding government power and increasingly turning irresponsible parents into welfare recipients. This is dangerous. It’s the kind of half-baked, morally bankrupt drivel that erodes conservative thought and causes conservatives to drift to the left. It’s calculated and purposeful.

In the end, French’s proposal is as predictable as it is pathetic—a desperate attempt to stay relevant in a world where his brand of faux conservatism is increasingly irrelevant. He’s like a bad comedian who tells the same tired joke over and over, hoping for a laugh that never comes. But this is no laughing matter. David French is playing a dangerous game, and the stakes are far too high to let his nonsense go unchallenged.

Real conservatives must stand firm against this kind of moral and intellectual rot, rejecting it outright and calling it what it is—nothing more than socialism dressed up in pro-life rhetoric.

So here’s a rhetorical question for you, David—how does it feel to be the poster child for everything wrong with modern conservatism? Because if this is the best you can offer, then maybe it’s time to do us all a favor and stop calling yourself a conservative, stop claiming to be pro-life, and stop pretending to be a Christian.

Because, honestly, it’s pretty clear that you never really understood what conservatism was about in the first place.