If you’ve never heard of her, self-proclaimed “Prophetess” Katie Souza is the ringleader of her own spiritual sideshow, where she’s carved out a niche in the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR). The NAR is a movement that has nothing to do with the gospel and is more about shameless self-promotion.

Souza’s specialty? Selling ridiculous claims with the confidence of a snake oil salesman. Need a miracle? She’s got you covered—just tune in to her wild tales of battling demonic spirits in the form of the Loch Ness Monster. Yes, the same mythical creature that doesn’t even make the cut in a bad science fiction novel.

The New Apostolic Reformation, Souza’s playground, is a cesspool of self-appointed apostles and prophets who fancy themselves as God’s new mouthpieces. Forget centuries of established Christian doctrine—these modern-day Gnostics have decided that the church has been missing out on the real deal until they came along.

And what a deal it is! Instead of sound teaching, you get a hodgepodge of bizarre rituals, outlandish prophecies, and teachings that would be laughable if they weren’t actually leading people to eternal Hell.

Souza’s claim to fame? “Soul-healing” through fantastical, made-up “keys” that are supposed to unlock divine power in your life. It’s like a bad infomercial, except the stakes are far higher, and the deception far more insidious.

But if that doesn’t sound outlandish enough, here’s her latest—where she claims to have crossed paths with a werewolf on assignment from Satan himself, because apparently, Hollywood horror flicks have nothing on Katie Souza’s delusional fantasies.

According to Souza, this werewolf wasn’t just some CGI nightmare, but a bona fide assassin sent to take out a “bride of Christ.”

Oh, but it doesn’t stop there—she’s also been hunting down a hybrid, because, naturally, her family has ties to some kind of bizarre genetic experiment. And of course, she’s seen it all with her own eyes—shapeshifters, hybrids, you name it.

If you’re waiting for the punchline, there isn’t one—Souza is dead serious. Actually, there is a punchline. She ends this rant by assuring us that she’s “sound of mind” and “this is real.”

But really, who could doubt her? I mean, doesn’t everyone have a werewolf on their tail and a hybrid to slay? It’s just another day in the life of a self-proclaimed prophet who’s apparently living in her own personal Twilight saga.

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