Nothing. Absolutely nothing. If you woke up this morning, logged onto your favorite social media platform, and found yourself inundated with posts, videos, and memes suggesting today’s total eclipse is a harbinger of the end times, let me offer you a moment of respite: there is absolutely no prophetic significance to today’s celestial ballet. That’s right—zip, zilch, nada.

Now, before anyone accuses me of not taking the Bible seriously, let’s be clear: I hold the Scriptures in the highest regard. It’s precisely because of this reverence that I’m confident in saying the Bible does not earmark today’s eclipse as a divine billboard for the apocalypse. Those claiming otherwise might be finding their prophecies more in the domain of creative writing than in any serious theological analysis.

Consider this: the Bible has been around for a couple of millennia, give or take. It’s been scrutinized, studied, debated, and loved by countless generations. Yet, not a single verse, chapter, or book within it provides a play-by-play commentary on the astronomical events of April 2024. Those insisting on a biblical basis for the prophetic significance of today’s eclipse are, to put it mildly, stretching their interpretations beyond the breaking point.

Now, why the fuss? It seems every time there’s a celestial event, a cohort of “date setters” emerges from the woodwork, armed with charts, graphs, and a bewildering blend of numerology and enthusiasm. Their goal? To convince you that this time—yes, this time—everything lines up for a grand prophetic unveiling. Yet, here we are, post-eclipse, and life goes on as usual. These predictions seem to be less about prophecy and more about personal gain—whether that’s in the form of social media clicks, book sales, or just a moment in the eschatological spotlight.

Let’s not forget, history is littered with the failed predictions of date setters. Their batting average is abysmal. If they were baseball players, they’d have been sent back to the minor leagues long ago. It’s almost as if they’re playing a game of prophetic roulette, betting everything on black because, well, it’s bound to hit eventually, right?

So, if today’s eclipse has left you feeling anxious or worried, take heart. The skies will clear, the sun will shine again, and life will proceed as it has since creation. Perhaps the only thing we should read into today’s eclipse is a reminder of the beauty and complexity of God’s creation—a celestial performance for which front-row seats are absolutely free. And as for the prophetic significance? Let’s just say the stars aren’t spelling out anything we need to be concerned about.